This blog has never been an easy one to manage, post on, or interact on. It has frustrated a number of individuals so much that they have come and left. As those who have been around while know, I’ve tried a number of different things (posts about safer posts and comments, revising the guidelines, moderation, closing the blog at times, etc.) hoping to increase how safe this blog feels for everyone. Yet, the blog is far from feeling safe for some people, at least. My vision for this blog from the very beginning has been that it would be a safe place where complementarians and egalitarians can interact, sharing their differences, getting to know each other better, and walking across new bridges toward each other.
This weekend the blog experienced another crisis. It would not be appropriate for me to share the details of private email messages or other communication about the crisis. And those of you who know something about it, please don’t post or comment about it, unless you check with me first. I don’t want anyone blaming anyone else. That is not an appropriate way to build bridges.
My dear sisters and brothers, it pains me deeply when we are not able to provide a safe environment for anyone concerned about gender issues in the home or church to comment. I believe that we have made progress on this blog. I have utilitzed some new features of our new blogging system that has helped cut down on inappropriate comments.
But some people, perhaps most, disagree with me and feel this blog is no safer today than it ever has been. In spite of the strenous efforts on my posts and in private emails when I have found it necessary not to approve a comment or ask that it be revised, some people still do not feel safe here. Some have even given up on the blog. Some even believe that the idea of having a single place for complementarians and egalitarians to share their differences and work at bridge-building is an impossible task. I have responded (in private emails) that even though it is very difficult for complementarians and egalitarians to talk civilly to each other, learn from each other, and build bridges of better understanding together (without giving up any deeply held convictions), it should still be possible with God’s help. I have claimed that Jesus’ statement that people will know that we are his disciples by our love for each other should be able to be seen even when we disagree with each other.
Perhaps I am blind to realities? Perhaps I am naive. Perhaps I have heard only my own voice wanting to be a peacemaker (Matt. 5:9) with this blog instead of the voice of God which I thought I had heard. Perhaps I still haven’t gotten the commenting guidelines right. Perhaps there shouldn’t be any public comments allowed, as is done on the Gender Blog, the ESV Bible Blog, and some other blogs.
I get private email messages from all sides blaming the other side. I am sometimes asked to ban some individual from commenting or posting. If I would just get rid of so-and-so, the blog would be safer.
I don’t ask for pity. I don’t ask for the messages that tell me it’s not worth the struggle, unless you really believe that it is not appropriate for complementarians and egalitarians to try to build bridges toward each other, without giving up any convictions.
But I do need to know if the efforts are worth it to you. Do you feel safe on this blog? Or do you cringe each time you post something or put up a comment, wondering who is going to shoot at you next?
I’m not asking you to side with me against those who tell me that this kind of a blog is doomed from the start. I would like honest feedback if you can give it. So that you can give feedback, I have placed a new poll in the margin of this blog. Would you be willing to help me gauge how safe this blog feels to you? I especially want to know how same complementarians feel here, since I often here that complementarians feel blasted her by egalitarians. And I don’t want that. I don’t want anyone feeling blasted here. This is not a place to blast anyone. Instead, it is a place for sharing. It is a place for us to share our own journeys having to do with gender issues in the church and home. This is not really a place to try to convince others of the correctness of our own beliefs and the incorrectness of the beliefs of others. This is not a place to be sarcastic, since sarcasm doesn’t build bridges.
To cut down on inappropriate comments on such a difficult topic, this post, unlike most, will be closed to comments. Just register your feelings in the margin. It’s getting to vote in privacy so no one else needs to know how you feel. And when you do vote, would you please pray for wisdom for each one of us on the blogging team. We are all busy and we don’t want to waste our time or yours. But we have each agreed to contribute to this blog in a positive way, as best as we can. Please pray for wisdome for each one who helps moderate comments when moderation is called for. It is time-consuming and a difficult job to decide if some comments do not follow the blog guidelines (in the top of the margin).
Finally, as we have celebrated Valentine’s Day this weekend, I want to thank so many of you who have tried hard to make positive contributions to this blog. You have worked at restraining your tongue (or keyboarding fingers) so that your comments would be safer to others. I hope it’s OK for me to say in this time of valentines to all of you: I love you and so does Jesus. But love also means being honest. So please be honest as you answer the poll question. Don’t give an answer that you think I might want to hear. I need to know if we are hurting more people than we are helping. I need to know if it is worth keeping this blog going.
